It can be difficult to find the right words to say to someone who has recently experienced the loss of a loved one. You don't need to be a poet. Simply expressing, "I am sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family," is sufficient. If you are unable to attend a funeral in person, sending a card or leaving a message on a memorial website is a meaningful way to convey your sympathy.
Times have changed, and dressing all in black for a funeral is no longer necessary, but wearing jeans and a t-shirt is not appropriate either. You should still dress nicely and modestly, avoiding bright or flashy colors. Aim for an outfit you would wear to a wedding or a job interview.
The family will keep the register book as a memento for years. Make sure to provide your full name and your relationship to the deceased. You are also welcome to leave a message.
You don’t need to go overboard with your gift; it is the thought that counts. Suitable gifts include: flowers, a donation to the charity of the family’s choice, or a commitment of service to the family at a later date. A commitment of service can be something as simple as cooking dinner for them, offering to clean up their house, or any of the “little” things that may be neglected while a family deals with death. Make sure you provide a signed card so the family knows who gave the gift.
You might think that the family needs their space and time to grieve, but a simple phone call or note after the funeral lets the family know you care. With social networking, leaving a quick note is as simple as a click of a mouse. The months following a death is when grieving friends and family need the most support.
Please remember the following:
Your phone ringing would be highly inappropriate and would cause a disturbance. Turn off any ringers or notifications.
